Hayley LITERALLY changed the entire course of Fern’s life! Listen to their story and be uplifted and encouraged. And, check out Fern’s book, “Dog Spelled Backward”, here. (As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.)
Transcript
Julie Jackson:
Hey, welcome to happy tales of happy tales, the podcast where you’ll hear stories of the way pubs have touched our hearts and our lives. So for the next few minutes, let everything else go and just listen and smile. I’m your host, Julie Jackson. Hey,friends. I know I say this every week, and I mean it every week.But I am so excited to bring this story to you. This is my friend Fern Fern and I met through the dog community. You meet the best people through the dog community. And he has an amazing story of how a dog literally changed the course of his life. I can’t wait for you to hear it. It’s just it’s sweet. And it’s heartwarming.And it’s funny. And it’s so hopeful. So without further ado,listen and smile. Hey, how are you? Hey, I’m good. How are you?I am great. Thank you so much for doing this.
Fern:
Oh, are you crazy? Any excuse to talk dogs. You have to be kidding me.
Julie Jackson:
I know. Right?Okay, so let’s get to it. Tell me who we’re gonna hear about.
Fern:
So this would be my first dog as an adult. Her name. It was Haley. She was a pit mix.That was with me till she was16.
Julie Jackson:
Wow. I used to I have a yellow lab that lived to16. And she was funny because she was very stubborn and independent. And that year I used to laugh and I said, I think this year she may either pass or get her driver’s license.
Fern:
And by the way, congrats.You got a new one.
Julie Jackson:
Thank you. Yeah,she’s right here. I’m not sure if she’s gonna come up or not.She’s a hoot. She looks gorgeous. Oh, thank you. She’s adorable. So it’s kind of interesting. And she’s a little dopey because she was she went to get spayed this morning. And they will they got her under anesthesia and shaved her little belly and no one had the rescue.No one we hadn’t noticed. She’s already been spayed. She had the little scar in the tattoo. Yeah.Yeah. So she didn’t have to have the surgery. But she’s still like, got a nice a nice belly shave. Yes. And a little buzz because they already had her under anesthesia.
Fern:
So they’re not cutting on her for no reason.
Julie Jackson:
Yeah, I know. I know. So that was good. But okay, so she lived to be 16.
Fern:
She did. She was she was if I’d say she she reshaped my,she shaped the course of my life a number of times.
Julie Jackson:
So how so?
Fern:
Now, I’m gonna go into we’re just get right into it.
Julie Jackson:
I’m gonna go into details or whatever you want to share whatever you want to share. But I know you said that she was the dog that changed your life.
Fern:
Yes. So um, I’ll try not to bore you with too many of the crazy details. Oh, I won’t be bored. So whatever you want to share, edit down my rambling if you need Yeah, yeah, at that time, at the time of my life. I was, I guess, in my early 30s.And I had just gone through a bad breakup, like this girl broke my heart. And that sent me on what I call the summer of self destruction. Okay, so for a good three months or four months, maybe even more, I was not in good mental shape. And I was just a mess. I would just you know, this is a here in New Jersey, like, you know, in the summer, everyone has a shore house. So I had a house with a bunch of friends. And I spent night after night, just getting drunk till I blacked out. And I was just really hurting. It really hit me very hard. And a lot of areas of my life, but I just was not in a really good place. And then I remember after the summer, so like she broke up with me, like in March or so.And after the summer of just pure, just a mess. You know,when I got back when, you know,the weekends started to be open now and I’m back home and I started to you know, I started to get tired of feeling like this. And you know, the pity party needed to be over. And I was trying to think of what I can do to try to get myself out of this. And I decided to volunteer at her at our local rescue. You know, I always liked animals I had been doing, you know, I used to work at the zoo,you know, so, animals were very close to me. So I decided you know what? I gotta get, I gotta move forward. I got to do something. So I’m like, let me volunteer and hang out with animals. That sounds like it would be a good thing for me. So I found a local rescue. And I started volunteering. And I was there for a month or so. And I met a dog. There’s a dog there.And every week I used to hang out. And it was a white Pitbull.And I’m like, this dog is pretty cool. And I started really just,I could feel my whole, you know,I felt like, it was such a good thing for me, you know, just,you know, being of service and this dog, you know, really touched me. I was living with a couple guys at the time. And our our landlord who lived in like a two family house, and the landlord did not allow us have pets. So I’m like, I love this dog. I gotta, you know, I gotta bring this dog home. So I went to him. I said, Listen, is there any way you would reconsider and let us have a pet? And we were,we’re about to go on vacation.So we go on vacation. Let me think about it. And when you come back, I’ll let you know. So I want to vacation, go on vacation, just thinking about his dog the whole time wondering what’s going to happen. And then we come back from vacation. And he says, You know what, you guys are good tenants. I’ll let you have a dog. Just give me an extra security deposit. So I said, awesome. I did that. I went in. He was adopted when I was away on vacation. And I was like, Ah, my God. So I was like,Alright, I know I need a dog.Now I’m going to find a dog exactly like that one. I went on a little quest, and I saw it.And then when I always say the right dog finds you, so I’ve met a bunch of dogs, that seemed cool. But then when I met the dog, that would be mine. I knew in seconds that this was my dog.And she adopted her and she, she helped me like, come out of that and try to and you know, just being with her changed my mindset greatly within, I think two months of three to three,three months of adopting her. I remember sitting in my haircut.And the hairdresser said, what that day, she just noticed something different about me because I was in bad shape for a while. Just notice that was different that day. And she decided all of a sudden to hit her. Oh, you know what, I think I have the perfect girl for you.And she set me up on what is now my wife. And it was only because she that one dog helped me out of that funk, to a place where I was able to have a decent relationship. So I kind of blame her. I was telling my wife that,you know, when we when we had her, I said hey, anything happens. You know, if you were the dog, she has seniority, I got to take her over, you know that going forward?
Julie Jackson:
And and how did she take that? Did she get it?She understood it?
Fern:
Yeah. I mean, my dog was there for our first kiss, like my dog took part in our first kiss as well. So yeah, she was an integral part of helping me heal. And being in a place where I could actually, you know, have a new relationship.
Julie Jackson:
I love that.Yeah, no, that’s funny. You say that because I had Eleanor and Lilly and Roscoe when Ricky and I started dating. And he the very first time He came over,Eleanor came up and like, put her paw on his leg and just looked at him. And I was like,Okay, well, that’s it.
Fern:
Let’s book the date now.
Julie Jackson:
Because we can’t go anywhere now. But you know,like, you can’t leave. So here we are. And there’s Oh, here she is Yeah, there’s, there’s Lady Darcy. Hi, sweetie. So she really changed your life in a lot of ways, too, though.Because Wasn’t it your time in the shelter that kind of got you started with becoming a trainer?And?
Fern:
Well, I mean, yeah, so like, so she changed my life by helping me heal enough to be open to another relationship.And then which led me to meet my wife. And now we have two kids,and it’s amazing. I can’t imagine life without any of them. Then one thing that you might not know is, so you know,you probably know that I’ve written a few books.
Julie Jackson:
I’ve read them.
Fern:
At the time, I would when I was on my bucket list. I was like, I wanted to write a book.And I had tried years before I want to write a novel. And I tried years before I’ve started in, I’ve started maybe two or three novels at the time, like,doing like two or three chapters, and then I didn’t have the motivation or anything to finish. And then so after, you know, my wife and I were dating at the time, you know, and I adopted Haley, you know, and she was in my life for maybe a year,maybe all of a sudden, I was inspired. And I all of a sudden knew exactly what I was going to write about. And I finished my first book, which was a novel,which was on my bucket list in six months, and the main character was basically her.It’s called “Dog Spelled Backward”. And it’s kind of like a, even though it’s kind of like a religious title has nothing to do with religion is just a fun name. I thought it was cool.It’s about the like, kind of like an end of the world story where the the dog kind of leads people through this like troubled landscape pointing out all the injustices that man has done to this planet and like,guides them to like a new beginning. So like, I was struggling to write this for so long until I was motivated by her.
Julie Jackson:
I love that, then I did not know that because of course, I’ve read all of your dog take care.
Fern:
But yeah, this was a novel probably like, probably like seven, eight years before I wrote a note book after that.
Julie Jackson:
Wow. Wow, that’s amazing. That’s amazing. Okay,so then after that.
Fern:
So then after that, I was,obviously I’ve done a number of careers in my life. I think I’m on my sixth or seventh at this point, or whatever. But at the time, I was at a real estate appraiser. This was after, you know, my dogs, probably, I’ve been with Haley for probably like six years, six or seven years at this maybe six years.At this point. Probably I’ll probably seven, it’s probably seven, six or seven years.Anyway, I was a real estate appraiser. And the economy,basically it was 2008, where the real estate bubble burst. And overnight, I had no work. So,you know, I used to, like, day after day, I used to go on these online job boards, just looking for jobs, just trying to figure out what I want to do. You know,I can’t do this, I got to pick something different. And I had changed my career a number of times, so I was totally okay,doing it again, I just didn’t know what I wanted to do. And I remember one day looking at these job boards, and in the corner of my eye at the bottom,I saw a thing for dog trainer.And I was like, like, I forgot that was the Job. Job. I’m like,I get it. And I looked down at Haley. And I said, Well, you know what, we have a pretty good relationship. I see other people struggling, maybe I can help other people have this kind of relationship and everything. So I said, Look, I’m gonna do it.And I went all in knowing nothing. And it like, took off immediately. I felt like, you know, this is what I meant to do. And, yeah, it changed the rest of my life since that point, because I became a dog trainer, I did that for 15 years now, I’ve started doing consulting, that led me to do speaking engagements, and led me to write a whole bunch of other books, and also led me to start my new business, which is a dog daycare, and boarding facility,coaching, consulting and marketing. And it’s all because that she allowed me to have the confidence to try that.
Julie Jackson:
Wow, wow. I love that. And just it kills me. I feel sad for people who don’t realize what a critical role they play in our lives. You know, like how much they can?And I always kind of laugh because I, I hesitate to say I rescued a dog because I said it always ends up that I am rescued by them.
Fern:
Yeah, I mean, you see,like, if I look at any other if I look at any of my dog,training peers or anybody else,but beside behind everybody who’s had some sort of success in a dog field, there’s one dog that started at all, usually,you know, one the catalyst that,you know, kind of ignited the fire to do this.
Julie Jackson:
That’s very true.That’s very true. And a lot of people always talk about their heart dog. And of course, a lot of people though, I mean, I know I’ve had more than one heart dog in my life. But when you say that, as soon as you said that,I was like, oh, yeah, I know who my catalyst was, you know, it’s like I know,
Fern:
The spark. Yep. Yeah. And then that’s kind of what led to,you know, all the other rescues and you don’t trace it back to one dog. Ya know, another great things you’ve out of the great dogs and other great things happen of it. But like, it’s like the one that kind of started you on that path. And,you know, for me, Haley had steered my life in so many important directions, that I’m not sure. Without that nudge or whatever. I don’t I can’t imagine what I would be doing now.
Julie Jackson:
Right? That’s what’s mind boggling to me. And it’s very hopeful to me too.When I hear you say how you’ve like changed careers, and you know who you are, doing what you’re what you’re passionate about.
Fern:
I’m sure I’m not done,change them again. But it gave me the kind of the excitement to do that. I think whenever you want to do something, and to be successful, you got to be really passionate about it. And so I mean, I used to sit here working from home and I used to just refer to her as my partner like,you know, had a silent partner in everything I did.
Julie Jackson:
Bless her heart.Okay, so you said she lived to be 16. So what year was that?
Fern:
That though she passed away about seven years ago,okay. Okay. And I know you have a beagle now, right? Yes. Yes, I am. So even though, you know, I was blessed to have her for a long period of time. And, you know, she was towards the end,you know, she was old for a while, you know, she was in good shape for a while. But, you know, the last couple of years,she was an old lady. So I knew,you know, I knew it was coming.And I knew that. So I told my wife, I’m prepared for this. You know, I’ve been preparing this for a long time. And then it happened. And of course, you’re totally not prepared for it. And you know, I was a mess. As you might expect, and then as well.So I remember my wife and my wife was like, always talking about we gotta, you know,getting another dog and everything. I’m like, Listen,I’m going to take some I need some time to process this. My wife and my kids did not require that time and 10 days after she passed away, I got it was just in a random a random events,basically put this dog on my lap. And again, I always feel like the right dog finds you.Yes. Even though I wasn’t ready.My girls were ready. My wife was ready. And this little guy was ready. So even though I wasn’t quite ready, but you know,there’s a part of it that maybe helped helped me get through it.
Julie Jackson:
There they are.They’re, they’re healing.
Fern:
And he was a good distraction, because he’s a little puppy. And he was a pain in the ass. Yes, so you don’t have time to think about how much time I was to bed. I was too busy cursing him.
Julie Jackson:
Right, which makes it so worth it? Yes, in the moment. Yeah. I love that,too, that what you say about the right dog finds you? Because I know a couple of including our most recent addition, it almost seems like the least logical practical time. And there have been a couple of times that we’ve had, we’ve had pups that have joined our family. And it seems like the dumbest time to do that. And but it’s like, but you just know, there’s something about that. You know, there’s something and like you said,they find you and you just know that that’s.
Fern:
But I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you a funny story. And how we ended up with him is that so it’s 10 days after my last dog passed away, I’m still a mess.And I, I have a if you if you go back, there’s a podcast I did about losing your dog from my dog training podcast, which is Fern dog, podcast. And there’s an episode I did about losing your dog, which is me at what I thought was enough time to talk about it. And I saw up in the middle of the podcast because,you know, that’s what happened.So it’s 10 days after, and it’s my daughter’s birthday, my twins and their birthdays coming up in like a week or so. And so what happened is, I’m home and I get a text from so I used to be involved in rescue and the adoption coordinator rescue I used to be a part of texted me,and she knows everything that happened that went on with me with my dog and he texted me and goes Hey, Fern. Do you know anybody who wants a 10 week old beagle puppy. I just thought I’d asked you before I post them online and get a million applications for him. And I know she cuz she knows when I was a kid when I was four. Now when I was four when I was like seven or eight. My first dog was a beagle. I had him for like, a month before my wife lost her mind. And I mean, my mom lost her mind you had to get rid of.But so she knew that because I talked about it online or something. So I knew that Tex was really for me not do I know anybody. And so my wife. And then a week of my dog passing my wife is sending me like Petfinder links and they’re all like hound puppies. And I’m like, Listen, I’m not ready yet.And even if I was, there’s no way in hell, I will do a puppy or a hand. That’s like the biggest challenges in the world.i There’s no way I would do that. So she said, The Perfect Storm. Yeah, I totally against it. And that’s what she wanted.So I get this little video, this little puppy and I go back and forth. Should I show my wife?Should I not show my wife? I stupidly show it. And of course,she’s like, Oh, but then she says, Listen, we both know you’re doing all the work. So this is really your decision.You know my feelings. But you got to do what’s right. I know you’re going to do all the work and it’s going to be on you so So you decide. So it’s alright,let me let me think about it. So I put the phone down. And I went downstairs and I’m cleaning up we have this like trunk or we just have junk. So I’m cleaning off this trunk a little bit and like a month before. Sorry, this is a long story. I know it’s fine. It’s fine. It’s great, I love it. Or we took my lunch before we took my twins shopping for their birthday decorations,because we’re a little birthday party. So we took them out, and we’re buying decorations and they’re in the store. There was these little like buttons that you can you pin on them and I would let the Girls pick out a button that they would wear for their party. My one daughter picked out this pink, I’m a princess button. My other daughter, Jada, picked out one with a little puppy on it. And as I’m going as I’m cleaning up,I find that button and it is the exact picture of of that dog. I mean, because like beagles come in different sizes and coloring.He was like all dark in the face. This Beagle looked exactly like him on the spot. And I just remember just picking up the button on crap. That’s our dog.
Julie Jackson:
You’re like,Okay, this is like prophetic.
Fern:
Yeah, I was like, Alright,I guess we’re yet and I’m like,that’s obviously out of my hands.
Julie Jackson:
The button said,so yeah, so we got I love that.I love that. I know. It’s great,though. When you kind of like there’s signs, you know, where you just you go? Yeah, like…
Fern:
And I say like, he found us, you know, and I believe he was meant for us. And he was a so I’ve been a dog trainer for15 years, I’ve worked with a lot of dogs. He was the most challenging puppy I’ve ever had to deal with in my life easily.He was really I want to get more every day. I regretted my decision every day in the beginning. But you know, I put in the work. I worked with him.And he became one of the best dogs I’ve ever encountered. He started out so bad. And he and he’s ended up so good. So I think it also I think it just shows that if you just give them the right to give them what they need.
Julie Jackson:
It’s amazing what they can, they can do. So true.So for people who are sometimes like in that point of, I can’t do this anymore, and they’re wringing their hands. How long was that period with him? Where are you are like, That’s it, I’m sending you up to the curb.
Fern:
So it was, so I got him at10 weeks. It was probably till about maybe the maybe a year,maybe a year mark. And I usually tell people in my experience as a trainer is like between a year and two years of age is what I call the teenage period. It’s when they’re adolescents. And that’s when everything goes a little sideways. Where it’s because when they become punk teenagers and they forget stuff you taught them they push their envelope. So I was bracing myself because I’m like this guy was a horrendous puppy. I can’t imagine what he’s going to be like as a teenager. So I was I was bracing myself, but I think it’s because I did so much work with him. And I had such a strong foundation. He was a dream as a teenager. So the reason I got him was because somebody probably paid a whole bunch of money for him. Had him for two weeks. He was insane.And they said I can’t take this and they just gave them to a rescue and said You do whatever you want I don’t want to see this dog again, and I inherited that same annoying puppy. And I just put in the time with him.And I always say I wish I could find that person who gave up on him and say hey, look what you could have had if you just would have just would have stuck it out you know if you just done what you needed to do or you know I just looked at my No I look at my kids you know they’re they’re going to be 15 this month. You know when they were little I tried to sell them on eBay multiple times. But I’m glad nobody took me up on it. It was a pain in the butt but you put in the work and get through it.
Julie Jackson:
And you had plenty of bids they just didn’t want to pay the shipping.
Fern:
No Yeah, that’s it. Yeah,that’s the problem.
Julie Jackson:
Oh yeah, you’d have free shipping, you would have been an empty nester all this time.
Fern:
Yeah, would have been would have been a done deal.Yeah, we all learn from our mistakes.
Julie Jackson:
Well, thank you so much. I love it.
Fern:
Thanks for hearing me out.
Julie Jackson:
Yes. Well, and of course you know, anytime you have stories you want to share.I love hearing them and it’s you know, you can’t help but smile when you hear.
Fern:
Well. You know what I always one thing I say about dogs is that I feel really sorry for people that are not dog people. Because never anywhere on this planet. Will you find a relationship like that any other person or species of animal anywhere. There’s nothing like that relationship you’ll have with a dog and it’s just something so rewarding. And you know, they can give us something that nobody else can. So it’s always cool to have and to share. So this is awesome that you’re doing. There’s that you have this forum where we can share these great stories and get excited to just live our lives around animals and celebrate them.
Julie Jackson:
Well, thank you so much. I appreciate it. And you’ll be hearing from me again soon, I’m sure. And hopefully I’ll see you in a week.
Fern:
Yes, yes, yes, yes. I know. I know. I can’t wait. I can’t wait.
Julie Jackson:
Well, thank you so much, and go hug your pup and your families, you know, too,but
Fern:
Well, he’s probably I locked him out back there. So I’m sitting on the other side of that door. What are you doing?
Julie Jackson:
I always just have to leave the door open.
Fern:
yeah, they’ll make a make a move.
Julie Jackson:
Yes, a riot will ensue. And so I just leave it and we’ll have guest appearances. That’s that’s the Because if I don’t like they’ll,beauty of it. That’s fun. Yeah,well, Y’all have a great night.Thank you so much for joining me today. I know that you are busy.And I really appreciate that you chose to spend some of your time with me. So let’s do a little bit of bookkeeping before we head out. If you enjoy this, and you would like to receive the episodes automatically without having to seek them out, then in your pod catcher, follow or subscribe. And that way every time an episode drops, it’ll show up for you. And you’ll know that it’s there makes it super easy. You don’t have to think about it. Please go visit the website. It’s really cute. It’s got puppy pictures. Also, I’ve got a free gift for you over there if you will go check it out. And if you would like to message me if you have any suggestions, specific pup stories you want to hear. Or even better. If you want to share a story, you can message me right there from the website.That’s the best way to get to me for that. Check us out on all the different socials, Facebook,Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn,all of them. That’s where you’ll see pictures of the pups that we talk about each week. Also, just other fun pup things. I’m going to put episodes on YouTube as well. Sometimes the episodes are recorded via zoom. And so there’s video, a lot of times it’s just us talking, but every now and then there are some fun cameos from puppies or their shenanigans in the background.And you can catch all that on YouTube. If you want to help me out if you would leave a positive review and share the podcast that would be fantastic.I would be really grateful. And once again, if you want to help me out, I would love to share your story. So please hit me up and let’s schedule a time that we can talk. Some people have shared their stories in writing.Some people have gotten on the phone and done a chat with me so we can do whatever you are most comfortable with. Finally, do not forget that you are as great as your dog thinks you are and go smooch your pooch. Thanks, y’all.